thm
  • Me: Can I get a water?
  • Waiter: Is Pepsi water okay?
  • hullodearie:

    Fake Pockets: A How To

    http://rhyse.ca/post/83338158654/sqvad-aimmyarrowshigh-i-wish-we-said-fancy

    sqvad:

    aimmyarrowshigh:

    I wish we said “fancy” in America. As in, “I fancy you.” It’s such a more agreeable term than “I have a crush on you.” What’s a crush? Like, I AM A BOA CONSTRICTOR AND I AM GOING TO IMMOBILIZE YOU WITH MY MISPLACED AND OBSESSIVE AFFECTION. “I fancy you” is…

    guy:

    mediocr:

    If you hate puppies you are a serial killer

    if you hate cereal you are a puppy killer

    turkey-imported-from-maine:

    firelorcl:

    meladoodle:

    i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

    a dentist

    i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

    theonewhosawitall:

magnetracecar:

onlinepunk:

Is this hell

I’m legitimately scared right now

i like warm hugs

    theonewhosawitall:

    magnetracecar:

    onlinepunk:

    Is this hell

    I’m legitimately scared right now

    i like warm hugs

    woodmeat:

    dickgripper:

    when youre running what do your cock and balls do? do they just flap against your thighs or

    my dick becomes rock hard to steer my body using wind currents, almost like a sail and said wind causes my scrotum to tighten close to my body for maximum speed

    straight white boy problem #8763

    evgeniemalkin:

    image

    dickfaerie:

    my favorite activity is pretending that i can sing

    unacted:

    girls who pretend to act stupid because they think it’s cute need to be slapped in the face with a brick